Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
