So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
