K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
