I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hippo gnu deer
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
