There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dick very happy bro
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
