It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
