I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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