I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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