Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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