so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
