There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
