My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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