I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
