I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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