you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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