I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
