whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
FUCK WHALES
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So here I am, sexting at work.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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