didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
