Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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