i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
