Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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