He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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