you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
