Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
