My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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