It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
