ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
