I didn't shave. On purpose
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
