Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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