If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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