these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
