My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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