Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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