How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
