great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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