She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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