Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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