drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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