pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Randomize
