I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm having to shit out rocks
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
