I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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