yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
