I think I died a long time ago.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
