put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How external is "for external use only"?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
