i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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