Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My life is pants optional.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
