she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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