I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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