Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
