2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
