her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
this hospital has no fireball
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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