Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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